


roll up the sleeves

by perfirwiecake



Series: It's hard to answer the question "whats wrong?" when nothings right [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BoyxBoy, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 20:25:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfirwiecake/pseuds/perfirwiecake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Louis… there’s something going on. I've noticed your change in behavior, your always wearing long sleeved shirts, your sad all the time,”</p>
            </blockquote>





	roll up the sleeves

**Author's Note:**

> may be triggering. Flashbacks will be notified with a * that is bolded

It was another night in a hotel. They were currently in LA and were sleeping in a hotel until next week, Harry and Louis shared a room – of course they did, there sort of in a relationship – and it was hard. Hard trying to hide the scars on his thighs and wrists, his thighs were easier to cover wearing jeans but changing was the problem. Harry or the other boys were mostly around when he changed. Harry the most since their boyfriends. Louis always tried to turn around while changing so they couldn’t see the bright red scars that lined his thighs. His wrists were a problem though. He almost always wore long sleeved sweaters and it wasn’t even cold out in LA, the boys noticed, so did the fans, people who aren’t fans, and out of all of them Harry noticed the most.

Louis would wear a sweatshirt to bed and make sure it was a size or so bigger so the arm were long and they didn’t have a chance to roll up on him. Louis sighed and stepped out onto the balcony where the warm air was blowing around softly. There was a set of chairs and a table set up so he plopped himself down on the chair closest to the railing, he propped his feet up and snuggled into Harry’s jumper. He stuffed his hands in the warmth of his jean pockets and felt the coolness of the blade, he jumped and then fiddled with it. He thought about it for a moment

_How bout I just slice my wrists a little bit more?_

**_Do it make them even uglier._** His subconscious cut in and he shook my head

_No I can’t. This is Harry’s jumper, he’ll find the stains on the inside._

**_Then cut up your thighs bitch._ **

_The blood will seep through._

**_God why do you complain so fucking much?_ **

“That’s a good question.” Louis said out loud and started to slowly pull the blade out of his jean pocket “What’s a good question babe?” Harry said walking out onto the balcony his long slender legs taking him far in a short amount of time “N-nothing baby.” Louis said and Harry frowned. Harry could tell he was lying about it just by the way he wouldn’t look into his eyes. “Okay bear.” Harry said and grabbed Louis’ hands and Louis jerked them back towards his chest holding them there “What’s wrong bear?” Harry asked bending down so he was crouching in-front of Louis, Louis nodded his head and the tears slowly fell down his cheeks “Louis… there’s something going on. I’ve noticed your change in behavior, your always wearing long sleeved shirts, your sad all the time,” Harry trailed off than thought. Harry gasped eyes widening “Louis…” He said and slowly took his arms gently, Louis let him because he knew that Harry had put two and two together. Harry slowly moved the sleeves up his arms and gasped at the sight. Red lines everywhere. It almost looked like there was no skin, just red line after red line. “Lou…” Harry said and looked up to his boyfriend.

“Stop with the speech Harry. I know what you’re going to say. Just get on with it. Tell me that we’re over.” Louis said standing up abruptly, making Harry almost fall over. “Louis.” Harry said firmly, standing up so he was standing over his boyfriend. “Stop Harry! I said fucking stop!” Louis yelled and pushed on Harry’s chest making him stumble backwards some. Louis took off inside “Louis!” Harry yelled and ran in after him. “No! Stop being a little bitch and get on with it Styles!” Louis yelled stopping and turning around to face him. _Ouch, that one stung_. Harry stopped and looked Louis dead in the eye “Fuck Louis! If you’d shut the hell up and let me finish you would know that I'm not going to break up with you!” Harry yelled the crowd of girls downstairs probably hearing their spat. “Well you should,” Louis screamed waving his hands around “I’m just a piece of worthless shit! I’m fat, ugly, look at my arms! Ugly!” Louis started to feel lightheaded “Louis calm down.” Harry’s voice softened “Why should I Harry?! So you can walk out on me?” Louis yelled, he stumbled around a little dizzy “Louis I already told you, I'm not-“ Harry didn’t finish his sentence because Louis fell to the ground. “Louis!” Harry yelled and ran towards him, Harry fell to his knees and propped Louis’ head up so it was in his lap. He pulled out his phone to call Paul “Yes Harry?” “Paul it’s Louis he - he just fell to the ground I don’t know, I don’t know what’s going on. Help.” Harry cried into the phone. “Calm down Harry I’ll be right over.” He hung up the phone.

“C’mon Louis. Wake up baby.” He said and pressed his fingers to Louis’ neck. There was a pulse there. Harry’s cheeks were tear stained, harry heard the door unlock and Paul came in with their first-aider. “Harry what happened?” The first-aider – Taylor – asked him and set her kit down beside her where she was crouched down beside the couple “He- we were auguring and- and he stormed off of the balcony into the room so I followed him and – and after like two minutes of yelling he just fell.” Harry said almost hyperventilating “Harry first of all you need to calm down or you’re going to end up passing out.” She said and Harry nodded frantically and the said “I checked his pulse it’s there.” Taylor nodded and checked him all out. “Well it looks like he has low blood pressure and it seems like he hasn’t been eating much lately. Has he been skipping meals Harry?” She looked over to him “Well… he hasn’t. He’s been saying that he isn’t feeling well and I just found out about this;” Harry slowly rolled up the sleeves of his limp boyfriends jumper he was wearing showing off the rows of self-harming

“Oh wow… okay so how bout we get him on the bed and let him sleep for a while. Get a cool wash cloth and put it on his forehead. Just stay with him until he wakes up then give me a call.” She said and stood up and walked out of the room. Paul looked down where Harry was sitting with his face in his hands, Paul reached down and patted Harry on the back “It’ll be fine Harry.” He then lifted Louis carefully and placed him on the king bed in the middle of the hotel room, Harry then re-appeared with a wet wash cloth and placed it on Louis’ head.

“Mmm.” Louis moaned rolling onto his side. He then felt something wet and cold being placed on his forehead “Lou… c’mon wake up bear.” Louis recognized his boyfriends slow, deep voice call out to him. Louis opened his eyes and was blinded with light beaming through the curtains, Harry then came into view with his eyesight “Bear! Thank god you’re awake!” Harry sighed and wrapped his arms lightly around his boyfriend’s body. “I honestly love you so goddamn much Louis, it doesn’t change that you do that I will always love you.”  Harry said and attacked Louis with kisses “I love you too harry. And thank you.” Louis lent up and pressed his chapped lips to his boyfriends “Thank you for what?” Harry asked confused “Thank you for loving me. If I didn’t have you and the guys I probably wouldn’t be talking to you right now.”

“Can we not talk about that? I can’t imagine not having you.” Harry said and took the cloth off of Louis’ head and placed it on the bedside table. Harry took off his skin tight jeans and t-shirt then crawled into the bed. He took Louis’ wrist and put it to his lips “You imperfections make you, you.” And then kissed almost every single line on his wrist.

-

Louis slowly got better. The day after Harry had found out about his boyfriend’s self-harming he made him wear a t-shirt

******

“You’re wearing a t-shirt today.” Harry said pulling out his favorite t-shirt on the older lad.

“Why Harry?” Louis whined shoveling spoonful’s of Coco Puffs in his mouth. Turned out that he actually hadn’t been eating because he thought he could lose a ‘couple’ of pounds.

“Because I said so bear. I don’t want you to be ashamed of them. They’re your battle wounds.” Harry said and kissed his lips.

******

The boys were so supportive when they were told about it. Liam freaked out and gave Louis like an hour long speech about how the boys were always going to be there for him and so will the fans. They talked about how long it’s been going on for, how serious it was – it was obviously serious – and how they were going to let the fans know about it. Harry bought Louis a journal so that if he felt the need to cut he could write about how he was feeling that day.

When they told the fans they were so, so, so supportive. They tweeted Louis – or DMed if they were lucky to have him follow them – about how some of them had/are going through the same thing as him. Tweeting him encouraging things. He even ended up talking to Demi Lovato since she went through something similar as him. Harry and the boys threw away all of his blades which he ended up finding one but Niall found him before he could make a line.

He went 2 months clean before falling and finding a sharp object to cut.

It’s now been a year since all of this happened and Louis couldn’t be happier. He has his fiancé Harry, the boys and all of their supporting fans. All he wants is everyone that helped him through his journey to know how much he thanks them and loves them. 


End file.
